Overstimulation is affecting my life for the past few weeks, or maybe months at least. Time flies by and I don’t notice it. I do the same things, things that I like and still like, but all seems gray. I’m letting these distractions control my perception of time.
Maybe it is still the phone? Maybe. It always has an allotment for mobile data. Why do I need to have an always-on access to the internet wherever I am? What am I afraid of missing about that I need instant access? Now that I’m pondering, there’s no strong reason. So, yet again, I switched mobile carriers and opted for the one that somehow have a mission I care for, and will only avail data allocation when truly needed. Most people that I observed are always on a video call with someone wherever and whenever they are. Anyone has a reason but, always being reachable is not for me.
I did have a phase of constantly switching Linux distributions on machines yet again. I don’t know. I still have this itch after all these yearsu. But yet again, I did settled on Debian, as always. I’ve been sailing on Debian for months now and I am starting to lose interest in chasing the shiny new stuff. It’s always been peaceful in this side.
The same is the case for my phones. I do love to tinker, but as of now, I feel like I’m wasting my time on some areas. Since I still do participate in society, I decided to have two phones, the main one which ironically I always root and have some modifications still and a secondary spyware phone which all have the proprietary bits for the proprietary apps like banks to operate. The secondary one is stationary and only pulled out when I need to participate to this modern world. The main phone is being tinkered often but, since the software are all free and opensource and I haven’t sideloaded Google apps and services, it is a joy to use. I remember the Android Froyo days when I started flashing custom ROMs, fun times. Now that Android is going to being a lockdown platform, I hope the initiatives to stop it succeed. We don’t have any viable OS alternative yet if these somewhat open Android platform became closed.
I don’t know where I am going with this, I just wrote this sitting on some random building staircase while taking a break on my bike ride. Is this me hinting myself to finally wake up?
Homesick (2009) - A Day to Remember; metalcore, pop-punk, post-hardcore
Sticks and Stones (2002) - New Found Glory; pop-punk
Discovering the Waterfront (2005) - Silverstein; post-hardcore, pop-punk, emo
Critically Ashamed (2006) - FM Static; pop-punk
Awake (2007) - Secondhand Serenade; alt-rock, emo
A Twist in My Story(2008) - Secondhand Serenade; alt-rock, emo
Catalyst (2004) - New Found Glory; pop-punk
I want to disappear.
When you lose a part of yourself
To somebody you know
It takes a lot to let go
Every breath that you remember
Pictures fade away
But memory’s forever
[…]
An empty chair at all the tables
And I’ll be seein’ you when all my days boil down
For now we’ll say goodbye
We know it’s not the last time
I’ve lost the best part of my day-ay-ay…
This is the last thing I
I will remember
It’s better where you’re going anyway
I catch up on the latest AI news involving my favorite equation to date, the Navier-Stokes equations. Interesting approach, minus the drama. I watched this Numberphile video to understand what’s happening, while on a coffee shop in the evening, while the town is becoming silent.
The morning weather is nice. I am still on the bike ride, stopped for a drink. It’s getting noon and yet I don’t mind the heat. Birds are chirping, and the ocean is serene. I don’t know what I am going with this but maybe I am just in a good mood.
AIMYON BEST ALBUM - Chase the Lips! - (2026) - aimyon
After a month of testing different distros for the new (to me) laptop that will be my main computing device, I still came back to Debian. It just feel right as always using it. I’ll ride on stable and just live on the zen from now on. There’s too much unnecessary noise chasing the latest and greatest.
I just listened to the Big Ole Album Vol. 1 by A Day to Remember and damn, it is good. I know this album dropped last year and heard some few songs but I just listened to it now in full. Additional favorites, both goes hard:
You’d push me over the edge
‘Cause I’m nothing like you
Nothing like you
Don’t do some shit you’ll regret
‘Cause I know what I’d do if I have to
I’ll fight like it’s to the death
…
So I’ll leave you with something genuine
From the bottom of my heart Fuck you
— To the Death
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
…
My will is stronger
Stronger
Wait
You might think it’s something spiritual
But I’m betting on the “right here, right now”
To hell with all the “someday, somehow”
I’ve waited long enough
I’ve waited long enough
(Don’t need a miracle)
Right here, right now
To hell with all the “someday, somehow”
I’ve waited long enough
I’ve waited long enough
(Don’t need a miracle)
You might think it’s something spiritual
But I don’t need a fucking miracle
Miracle
— Miracle
These types of older retired people, spent decades working, most of the time jealous of other people, and yet now having plenty of free time, they just consume hours of short form contents all day. They also have this “feeling superior” mentality just because they are older and feels like they know everything, even without first hand experience of the subject matter. They won’t even listen to what you have to say, even they’re wrong, they won’t budge and just get angry.
Here they are, living everyday, getting closer to their deathbed and still waste their remaining time, with that attitude.
Why would you let their opinions affect you when you don’t respect them?
In the past two months, the album I listened to is only one. I played it multiple times, more than ten times I think. I resonated a lot with it, felt a lot of different emotions, and appreciated the music itself. I’ve been down in the dumps a lot recently and this has been a very helpful companion.
FLOWERING (2026) by AKMU
Thanks for recommending it, N!
Building and compiling LineageOS somehow feels like a therapy for me these days. I am just watching the build logs go by for hours.
Sa lahat ng tama may mali
Sa lahat ng bawal na sandali
Sa lahat ng kwentong pang-sawi
Sa lahat ng naligaw at di makauwi
Gusto ko lang mawala saglit Gusto ko lang lumipad sa hangin Gusto kong matulog nang mahimbing
Gusto ko lang
Merong magik
— Magik by Banda ni Kleggy
I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of things lately, as my mind wandered around, stressed out by a series of things not worth discussing. And thinking about the end of myself is weirdly comforting. The classic this too shall pass. Everything is transitory after all, and life itself is impermanent. We’re here now, we might be gone tomorrow.
One month experiment: using a very old low-end phone with the latest Android version as a daily driver. The device lags as expected, but usable. The friction of using it is an advantage I’m seeking.